Sunday, August 29, 2010

Girls and their Dads

This past week was very stressful at work. It flew by and I felt like I was just not on my game at all. I really hate feeling that way, and don't know that I agree with the concept that in order to grow we have to step out of our comfort zone. This was my three day weekend (which flew by) and included a hair appointment on Friday and a fun craft party on Saturday. Last night I stayed up late cutting stencils while watching a biography on Led Zeppelin. That was cool and actually made me feel like "me", rather than some stressed out "worker". Wow, wasn't that something I swore I wouldn't be in my teens. During this coming week, these stencils will find themselves on dishtowels. I'll post that as they come to life. In the meantime, here are some pictures of the stencils I cut.

So, where am I going with this? Tonight, one of my friends shared these amazing memorial celebration cards she made for her dad. Tomorrow will mark the first anniversary of his passing. They were just beautiful and very heartfelt. Three days from today will mark five years and four months since my dad passed away. Not a day goes by that I don't think about my dad. I think about everything, I guess. The times he encouraged me, bitched at me, got mad at me, laughed with me, provided for me, and ultimately depended on me.

My dad, as I've mentioned here before, did not have an idealic, charming childhood, yet managed to overcome that and provide for his kids what he didn't have. Mind you, we didn't get "everything" we wanted. If we wanted a coke from the drive through, we were told no, we had coke at home. You wanted cheese on that burger, no, we had cheese at home. You wanted that Easy Bake Oven, no, we had an oven at home. This could really go on forever. With my dad, we had to learn that if you wanted something, you had to work for it and earn it. After all, "money doesn't grow on trees". I never liked that saying because, to this day, I want that tree! Surely at the time of my bratty youth, I didn't like this, but now, I appreciate it.

My dad, like so many other dads, grew up in a different time and were able to accomplish things and succeed beyond their fathers. The obstacles they faced are beyond our comprehension, really, and this does not go unnoticed by me. When I think about my dad, daily, I think about the funny things, the annoying things (surely I annoyed him more than he could have ever annoyed me!), the lessons, his patience, and how much I now miss him. I also daily think about and wish for the conversations we didn't have. That by far, is the hardest thing.

If you're lucky enough to still have your dad around, do take advantage of that and don't wait until it's too late to wish for what you could have said, done, or had. I feel I said most things, but when it came to my grandmother, he wouldn't talk and I didn't push too hard. Darn. If only I had. Who knows, really. My dad was pretty stubborn, to be honest. And, if you're lucky enough to still have your dad around, I envy you. Take full advantage of that.

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