Saturday in the ER

It wasn't exactly how I had planned to spend the very first Saturday of 2012, but I've learned over the years that we must be flexible. I had a "fun" day planned of getting the oil changed in the car and then getting the car smog tested. A California smog test is required on older cars every other year, your car must pass the test in order to get your vehicle registration renewed. And yes, the renewed vehicle registration is required if you drive a car with California plates.

At the ghastly hour of about 4:30AM on Saturday, my mom woke me up and told me she didn't feel good. Her entire left side was numb. She wanted me to call an ambulance. I got my sister up and we agreed that we would take my mom to the ER rather than wait for an ambulance that would probably take her to the ER anyway. I brewed a cup of coffee in my Keurig, took my mom's blood pressure (it was rather high) and off we went.

It was early, and not many people were in the ER, so they took my mom in immediately and let both my sister and I go in with her. Normally only one family member is allowed in the ER with patients. Then we waited and waited and waited. The nurses came in and hooked my mom up to the monitors and IV. Questions were asked and reports written, then more waiting.

I grabbed my smart phone and checked in on Facebook and noticed that an author I follow had posted the most hysterical article from the Huffington Post. I began reading it to my sister and we were both laughing so hard that I wasn't speaking well due to laughing. My sister asked for the phone and she attempted to read the article. She began laughing so hard and then we were both crying. She finally asked me if we were laughing because the story was funny or because we were punchy. I said, "both". The article was about a guy being arrested by Madison, Wisc. Police for drugs in a park. The guy had just recently legally changed his name to Beezow Doo-Doo Zoppitybop-Bop-Bop! The article is hysterical and you can read it here.

During our laughing fit, one of the nurses came in to run tests. My mom had blood work done, urine tested, CT scan, chest x-ray, EKG and her arteries checked. In the end, she was fine. No sign of stroke. The ER doctor said it could have been a small stroke known as TIA and said that they tend to heal themselves within 24 hours. Therefore, if she had that during the night, they wouldn't be able to diagnose it, as they have to see it happening.

Eight hours later, we were free to go. Came home and gave my mom a cup of coffee and some oatmeal. After she ate and had coffee, she went to bed and slept for several hours. She is doing fine now, thank God.

Yesterday, a friend shared a link on my Facebook that once again had me laughing. Yes, Beezow Doo-Doo Zoppitybop-Bop-Bop reappeared in my life! This time it was a little hysterical clip from the Jimmy Kimmel show. All I can say is that I really wish I could have seen the judge grant that name change. I wonder if he/she was able to keep a straight face!

Wordless Wednesday

My mom in Canada, probably during the 1940s. She doesn't recall the details of this picture and there is nothing written on the back. I do love it though and use it currently as my personal Facebook profile picture.

I curated my second Etsy Treasury of the year. This one features members of another team I belong to called 247 Treasury Team. They are also a very supportive team, but they are all business. I like them very much, but don't yet feel the same connection to the members as I do the EAWT Team.

Ten Years After

After all the hopes I had of being creative this weekend, it just didn't seem to happen. All the unfinished projects remain unfinished and now it is Sunday night and I'm feeling blue!

I did take my mom to her hair appointment yesterday and she was a bit slow and dizzy, but did manage to get through it. Otherwise, I did typical errands and chores and found myself a bit caught up in the 9/11 coverage on television.

On Tuesday, September 11, 2001, really early in the morning, I got up and ready for work. I took a shower and washed my hair and went downstairs to get coffee and put on make-up. I just sat down to begin the make-up "artistry" and the news was covering a plane that apparently crashed into one of the Twin Towers! I was drinking coffee, watching the coverage and apply cosmetics when all of a sudden the live coverage showed a second plane fly into the other tower! I was shocked. I looked at my sister and we both said something like, "that was not an accident". That was at 6:03 AM, Pacific time. The rest of that day is rather blurry.

I watched the weekend coverage when not running errands and began to reflect. What have I done in these past ten years? Have I made any improvements to the lives of others? Did the events of that day change me? Did the events of that day make me change my own life? I don't know those answer, but I feel that the coverage has got me thinking about all of these questions. Life is really short and our time unknown, and life is not about going through the motions (something I've done for far too long). I must figure out what I need to do, what my purpose really is, and move forward.

In honor of this anniversary, I would like to share two very moving treasuries I saw today on Etsy, created by two of my awesome team members, NettiesCollectables and MadriganDesigns. Please take a moment to view these and also check out their awesome shops. As the name might imply, Nettie has wonderful vintage finds, and Madrigan has beautiful handmade jewelry! Vintage finds and handmade jewelry are just a few things I can't live without!

The other thing I'd like to share is this very awesome and very powerful Budweiser commercial that one of my FB friends shared today. It brought me to tears. Apparently, it only aired once, but I did hear that some cable channel played it today.



Here's to a brighter tomorrow for everyone! Please take the time to live your life to the fullest every single day, and I am going to do my best also. Can you imagine what a great place this world would be if we all could do just that!

The Control Freak is Losing Control

I never really considered myself a control freak, but I really think I am one. I have this idea of how I'd like life to be and how I'd like things to happen, but just haven't quite mastered the fine art of achieving those things. I was raised with the "new thought movement" concept (which includes the laws of attractions) but have really failed on that. I sometimes find it so hard to get out of my own way, and my own way just might be self-sabotaging.

So here I am at the beginning of my fifth decade (I can't even believe that) and am pretty much where I said I'd NEVER be when I was in my late teens and early 20s. I have dreams and goals, yet seem unable to find the way to achieve them. I've tried many avenues and then when they don't work (maybe immediately - yeah, I'm not famous for my patience), I drop that and try the next thing, and then, I'm in the beginning of my fifth decade with what? A bitchy attitude if nothing else.

Rumor has it that as a child I could throw some major tantrums. I don't necessarily recall that, but I do know I'm more than capable of that now. I think the reason for these "tantrums" is really based on lacking control of things in my life and instead of stepping back to rethink, I jump into childhood tantrum mode. That helps, right?

So, why do I feel a bit out control lately? First of all my mom and her early stages of dementia. I can't control that, nor can I bring my mom back, the mom that raised me. I know it is still her and she is still as kind and caring as always, yet she now struggles with her words and doesn't always have the ability to express herself. That just really kills me.

My sister is having a  medical issue that I can't control. I just want to be optimistic and I want her to be whole and better ASAP! I really understand the whole life thing, but, it can be challenging when it hits home. In a perfect world this stuff doesn't happen.

I'm trying to figure out how the hell to organize my life so that I can do things creatively and get out there and sell my stuff. That isn't happening. I try to promote myself and others, but that sometimes just seems to be a waste of time. I also try to promote stuff on my (possibly useless) FB "fan" page and generally, I'm the only one that "likes" or comments on my posts. Therefore, when I try to promote myself and others, and basically feel overlooked, I tend to regress to that little girl that would throw temper tantrums and probably I alienate the world!

My take on it is that if I'm going to play the game, and that seems to include creating these things called "Treasuries", I do it. What I just seem to have a real hard time with is how many Esty sellers, especially those on my that I include in these treasuries, have absolutely no desire to even view or comment on them. I joined a team and part of being on that team requries creating these little hard to pull together gems on a regular basis. I do it, and I admit, I'm not gifted with creating "pretty" treasuries, but I try. What I've noticed is that many of my team members just don't find it necesarry to comment when I notify them that I've included them and I'm kind of at a point where I just wonder what the hell am I doing. Why do I bother. I do notice that the older team members are very good about it and very supportive.

Surely this sounds so stupid to those of you that don't have an Etsy shop or don't create these treasuries. It really seems that it has gotten to the point where creating a treasury and/or being featured in one, is ONLY about how PRETTY it is and it's potential to make the FRONT PAGE. Period. Making the front page is great exposure, true, but from what I've heard, it hasn't necessarily brought sales.Maybe if one of my goofy treasuries made the damn front page, the silent shops would then comment. Yes, I'm annoyed and probably annoying, but I just really wonder what these shop owners think. But I suppose in the "big picture" this really doesn't matter. What really matters is my mom and my sister and their quality of life.

So after my latest temper tantrum (how many times have I said that in this post?), I decided to take a vacation from Etsy and today I spent time with my mom and researching the family tree. I took a trip to the Orange County, California, Hall of Records to pull the marriage certificate of my grandmother's first cousin. He apparently was a rather abusive husband (well not apparently, really, as I have a copy of the divorce record). My intention to was to find his wife's maiden name in hopes of finding her living relatives. I now have her maiden name and tonight have been doing some research, but it isn't coming together as easily as I'd hoped. I did find someone to reach out to and we'll just have to see. I hope it is a connection.

Visions of Sugarplums, Visions of Art to Come, and Retro Modern Projects!

After my business trip Monday night to San Diego, I have found myself busy with day job work and just not being creative! Not good. Needless to say, I now have even even more sketch/collage/painting ideas that are just waiting to come to life. I still haven't test printed my weekend carvings either.

Funny thing happened at the business trip on Tuesday. I took my older Epson all-in-one with my co-worker and I so that we'd be able to print and/or scan documents we needed for our trip. I purchased a newer model printer a few months back and my older model has just been hanging out at the house unused. When I needed to scan something Tuesday morning, I lifted the cover on the printer and noticed a page there, face down. I picked it up and was so surprised to find one of the medical reports I received from Lola's State Hospital files! That was weird, I thought. I wondered why I left that there and didn't put it in the file I am keeping on her. Hmm.

It did remind me that there is still much research to do on Lola (although that is always on my mind). For one thing, I really need to take a trip to Sacramento (State Capital) to see her records as I've learned that these are public. Now, I do find that odd, considering HIPPA laws, but maybe it isn't so much about medical records being public but rather court or inmate records. Basically, Lola was in the State Hospital system and therefore considered an "inmate" and inmate records are public!

The other thing that is still a mystery is when and where my grandparents met and married. I have no clue. I would love to find something on that, especially if there is information as to who witnessed the nuptials. I find it odd that I cannot find anything documenting their marriage, yet as far as I know, they were married (my dad was not listed on his birth certificate as a bastard child).

So, while I try to get back in the creative and genealogy detective groove, let me introduce another artist I absolutely L-O-V-E! Her name is Stacy and her Etsy shop is RetroModernProjects.

I absolutely love her work! I was a child in the 60s and just love all things mid century, modern, atomic and retro. I also love shapes and lines and lino carving! She does awesome work all while raising kids! She has also had some gallery shows which is so cool and is about to release new prints! Do yourself a favor and check her out! She's quite cool.  You can find her on Etsy and on Facebook!

My Birthday So Far

Today was my birthday. It was very nice considering it fell on a full moon Monday and I worked all day. I went to the Rod Stewart and Stevie Nicks concert at the Hollywood Bowl Saturday night (thanks Rach)! Sunday I won $20 on a $2 scratcher. Plus, today I had tons of well wishes on Facebook, phone calls, emails, got flowers, cards, nice gifts and topped it off with Dancing With The Stars.

Prior to that I did find my grandmother recently. This time last year I was thinking it would have been such a great birthday gift if someone found her and presented that to me for my birthday. But in the end, one year later (almost), I found her and that was a great gift. I also got copies of some great pictures of Red (my grandfather) as a young man and pictures of my dad as a young boy from a cousin of mine! Those pictures are so special and I need to scan these and send them to my big sister.

My mom is doing much better and will be moving in with me. I look forward to spending more time with her while we can. Ever since telling her this, she has just been so upbeat and chatty! I'm so happy that she's looking forward to this and won't be so lonely in her final years.

Reflecting on 2010

Happy New Year! Every new year, I feel simultaneously excited and melancholy. I'm excited about the coming year and the opportunities to grab hold of. However, I am always melancholy as I reflect over the year and what didn't happen for whatever reason, or things that did happen that were not on my list. So 2010 is no exception.

I started 2010 optimistic. I was deep in my search for my grandmother, and I decided that I needed to take some creative workshops. I did take some creative workshops - drawing, soldering, metal etching. They were all fun and well worth it.

I also began to get quite good at researching my ancestors and finding living descendants of them. That was both scary and exciting. I reached out to several and that has proven valuable. To date, no one I've established contact with knows anything about Lola. I found the living people once I found obituaries. I would then search on-line obits and Facebook. I even found someone via her website. I have received some pictures of two of Lola's brothers and am anxiously awaiting pictures of Lola's father, George!

In summary, the living people I've been lucky enough to find and establish contact with follow:

NM - A fourth cousin of my dad. She is a descendant of great great great (is that right) grandmother Leah. Leah was the mother of Wells and Wells was the father of Effie (my very interesting great grandmother) and Effie was Lola's mother. This woman had been searching Effie's family for her tree and gave me a lot of information that I was then able to run with.

WP - Her grandfather Adolph and Lola's brother William (aka Bill) were both adopted by the same family in Iowa. Turns out, WP and my sis and I were all looking for Bill. Bill outlived his first two wives and was survived by his third wife. Once I had the names of the wives, I began the search and found three people.

Bills' second wife Edith had a brother Arthur. Arthur had a son Charles and a son AS. I found Charles' obit and found his daughter via Facebook. She gave me contact info for AS. We have talked on the phone and I have sent him pictures. Will need to re-establish contact with him in the new year.

Bill's third wife Ann had a sister Ellen. They were very close. Once I discovered (thanks to WP's detective work) that Ellen was now gone, I found Ellen's daughter and had the opportunity to meet her earlier in 2010. We shared stories and pictures and she gave me pictures of Bill and Ann. She also sent me some pictures from their wedding day. Turns out, AS and Charles were in the pictures.

LB - Lola's brother George died in 1968. He had lived in Chicago and my sister thought it would be good to search newspaper archives for Chicago to see if we could find an obit for George. Score! We did and it mentioned George's daughter Betty and her husband. I then searched for Betty and her husband (Google search) and found Betty's husband's obituary. The kids were listed and a Google search led to LB's business website. I called her on Easter Sunday! I know that was a call that truly caught her off guard but we remain in touch via Facebook, as I do with WP and some others I've yet to mention.

BB - BB's mother was my dad's aunt Edna. Edna was Red's younger sister. I was going through boxes of photos that I had taken from my parents' home and came across a Christmas card. This card was from Edna and contained a handwritten letter. In this letter, Edna mentions her daughters, Edna Mae and BB. Well, I immediately googled them and found that Edna Mae had passed away in 1999 just a few months before her mother Edna did. I found BB on Facebook and made contact with her. She has pictures and I can't wait to meet her and go through the pictures. You see, her mother Edna lived in (or was visiting) my grandparents in Iowa in 1920 and was on the census that year as being in the household. I know some of the old pictures I do have of my dad as a toddler came from Edna.

GJ - GJ's mother Rosetta and Lola were first cousins. I was doing some research via Findagrave and began to find Rosetta's family in the database. Rosetta's mother Grace, was Effie's sister. My sister and I reached out and have established contact with him. I was able to send him several newspaper articles on his mother and his aunts. He also offered to escort me to cemeteries when I make my trip to Illinois. I was supposed to go in 2010, but really wanted to make contact with people before going. Now that I've established contact with several people, I need to wait until the spring when the weather is more conducive to travelling.

MD - MD's paternal grandmother was Effie's sister, Edna. I knew from the obituaries of Effie and her parents (Wells and Emma), that Edna and her family lived in Laramie, Wyoming and that one of Edna's sons, Everett, died in 1943 in Northern California but was buried in Wyoming. On a whim, I searched the message boards for Laramie and Cheyenne, WY and found that someone had posted an offer to take pictures of headstones in cemeteries there, so I replied. Well that was a good decision. This woman Kathy not only took photos, but went to her library and found obituaries for Edna, Edna's husband and other family members! She was just amazing. One of Edna's daughters had a son who lives in Southern California. I found him on Facebook and sent him a message. His daughter MD contacted me and we are now in touch.

LB - Lola's father George remarried a woman named Grace. I'm not exactly sure when they married but do know that they were on the 1930 census as spouses. Grace was a widow and mother of two daughters, Katherine and Mary. One day I began a google search of Mary and much to my amazement, I found an on-line family tree that gave the name of Mary's daughter and her sons! I couldn't believe my luck. I found then one of the sons on Facebook and one on Ancestry (he had the start of a family tree). My sister reached out via Ancestry and I did via Facebook. Contact was made and LB and I have emailed and talked on the phone. She just sent me an email and told me that her cousin (Katherine's daughter) found an old black and white photo of "grandpa"! I can't wait to see that!

DL - Lola's sister Bessie married a man named Ben. I am still trying to determine when Ben died but did begin to focus on Ben's family. Bessie's 1976 obit listed two of Ben's nieces (Grace and Lillian) as Bessie's survivors. I began to focus on them and found tons of articles and names. That led to my finding a great granddaughter of Grace and a grandson of Lillian. Contact and communication has been happening, but slow. DL has an aunt in Illinois that knows of Bessie and thinks she has pictures. He is going to look into that!

So, eventful researching, yet still nothing on Lola. I have hope that someone knows something.

I also took a business trip in July to the Gulf of Mexico. I spent one week in Pensacola, FL and one week in Mobile, AL. That was busy and interesting. The other work thing that happened was I stepped into a new role, one that I've struggled with. I was quite content with my previous role and was looking forward to expanding that.

I finally listed items in the Etsy shop I opened in 2009! So far, I've only had two sales and must now focus on marketing so that I can get more sales. I also need to list more art as right now I don't have much in my shop.

I also made contact with some cousins on Red's side of the family. They also have pictures, so I can't wait to go through those. They just might have pictures of Lola and do not know who she is.

Towards the end of 2010, three of my contemporaries (a former co-worker, the son of a colleague, and a high school classmate) died. This hit me rather hard and has really made me think about my life and consider how I must make changes in order to really live life and not just "go through the motions". I am becoming more aware of the fact that I don't have my whole life ahead of me any longer and need to stop wasting it.

I also had a milestone birthday. I turned 50! Had a blast really. Some friends threw a fun-filled birthday bash for me. I haven't had a birthday party in so long that I really enjoyed it. I forgot how much fun they are.

Overall, 2010 was good. Many discoveries and challenges. I keep reading that everything is in right order. This is in spiritual literature, by the way. So, does this mean that my work challenge is supposed to be? Does this mean I was just too complacent and this is going to make me take inventory of my life? I think so.

Here's to looking forward to 2011 and what it has in store for me.

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

I have been rather quiet lately and that is mostly because I haven’t had much to say (If that could be possible). Since my last post, I have not yet written my letter to Metropolitan State Hospital, nor have I taken a trip there to present the letter that I haven’t yet written. I will do this sometime before the year is over.

Some Lola/family updates – I have recently reached out to some family members and have heard back from them. It is still early so I haven’t yet had pictures or stories, but I fully anticipate that in the near future.

Bessie (Lola’s sister) - I found and established contact with a great granddaughter of Bessie’s niece by marriage, Grace. She was able to put me in touch with her aunt who was raised by Grace and my sister and I are now waiting for information on both Bessie and her mysterious husband, Ben. As I write this, I have not been able to find any record of his death, nor can I find anything beyond the 1942 WWII draft registration he filled out.

George (Lola’s father) – In an interesting way, I found living relatives connected to George’s widow, Grace (yes, many Grace’s in the family). In the 1920 census, George was living with Grace and her two daughters in Decatur, IL as a boarder. George’s whereabouts in 1910 is still a mystery to me, but I was able to find him in 1915 (a few newspaper mentions); his 1918 WWI draft registration; the 1918 WWI draft registration of his son, George, listed him as nearest relative. By the 1930 census, George and Grace were married and her daughters are no longer living in the home with them. The man I reached out to is the grandson of Grace’s daughter Mary. I found him, along with his mother and brother, mentioned in an online family tree when I did a Google search of his grandmother, Mary. Once I had a name, I searched Facebook and found him and sent him a message. I also sent one to his brother. He is going to bring my request to his mother’s attention. She was a young girl when George passed away, so she may remember him or at the very least have pictures!

So now, I sit back and wait! That’s the hardest part. I have found and reached out to so many people and think about how cool it would be if someone did the same to me. I haven’t yet had that experience, but I would be SO excited, and that is probably because I did not know of these people nor did I grow up in a home where their pictures lined the hallway walls. Wanting to know “where you come from” is an interesting thing.

Do you have missing pieces in your family? Do tell me, I'm not alone! Welcome your comments.

What a Week

This past week was a trip. We had the most horrific heatwave in Los Angeles. The past weekend was hot, but NOTHING like Monday was. OMG, if I ever imagined hell, that was it!

Busy and stress filled week at work, although it did fly by. I know I'll get my work "groove" back, but the new job is so different from what I'm used to that I'm in constant "fear" of screwing something up.

I actually heard back from the granddaughter of Lola's first cousin, Hazelle! I had sent Hazelle's son a Facebook message, explaining who was and why I was reaching out to him. A few days later, his daughter sent me a Facebook friend request. I have sent her pdfs of the obituaries I received for Edna and her family, but am not sure if they were received and do need to follow up on that. Actually, I've sent pdfs to a few people and only heard back from one that they were received.

Also this week, I began to notice on my Ancestry.com tree that there was some "Member Connect Activity" involving the family of my dad's first wife, Fern. Someone related on Fern's father's side of the family added documents to her tree, but also added the profile and pictures of my dad and his wives! I was so excited to see that! For so long, no one has had my family on their tree, so this was very cool.

We lost two legends this week, Eddie Fisher and Tony Curtis. Tony Curtis made an appearance on one of my favorite shows, The Flintstones. The Flintstones had a milestone anniversary this week - 50 years! To this day, I cannot find a cartoon that quite lives up. The creativity of that show still entertains me and to this day I record and watch it.

Happy 50th Flintstones! Funny, I had a 50th this year too, and so have/are many of my friends!

Goodbye 2009

I have said it many times and I've heard others say it many times. Where did the year go? I guess it's true what my mom always said back when I was a teenager, "don't wish you life away, it'll go by fast enough." How true. I think the year has gone so quickly that I really can't recall all the highlights that manifested.

I did accomplish a few things that had been on "my list" for many years. I started this blog and I opened my Etsy shop. Blogging is cool because it is not only a means of documenting thoughts, feelings and things, but also a way to write, which is something I loved doing as a teenager. It kind of has that long-lost sense of excitement over being "published".

As for the Etsy shop, it is created and that is it. I must now gather the hand-made inventory and list items. This is a goal for 2010. I should add that I don't want to just list things, I want to sell things that are listed.

I finally joined Facebook and have been lucky enough to reconnect with family and friends I lost touch with over the years. I'm very happy about that.

I had the opportunity to travel to and stay at a beautiful place for work. I am lucky enough to have great co-workers that are smart, funny and very encouraging.

I survived the biggest fire in the history of LA (to date). Mind you, my home or person was never in any danger, but the Station Fire was huge, and it was close to both home and work.



I was also lucky enough this past year to encourage and support two friends on their path to vegetarianism! I have tons of favorite sites loaded with information and recipes as well as an out of control collection of cookbooks at my fingertips to loan my friends.

This past year also found me rescuing a cat that started hanging out on my patio. He "moved in", if you will, to my patio on Thanksgiving day. For me, the process of introducing a street cat into a house of indoor cats has not been easy. This is not something I'm used to as all the cats that have come into my life were either young and interegrated well with the older cats or were mellow. This guy is not a kitten (maybe two years old), is not so mellow, and has exhibited aggressive behavior towards my little Petey. As of now, they are still kept separated. I may need to contact an expert for help with the intro and integration.



I began to seriously research my family tree and my grandmother (Lola), in particular. I have started to learn much and look forward to this journey. Someone asked me if I was at all worried about what I might learn (considering how adamant my dad was about NOT talking about her). Interesting question, but, I am not worried as I really would rather know what happened and am finding the search as frustrating and as rewarding as searching for antiques or vintage items to add to a collection.

My older sister became a grandmother for the third time and it was her first granddaughter! My younger sister started post graduate studies!

I didn't take many art or jewelry making workshops and plan to get back in the groove in 2010. I found plenty to take, just didn't seem to have the follow through. I also plan to get back in the exercising groove. That just somehow slipped my mind in 2009, yet it didn't stop me from buying various excersise DVDs.

I saw three great local stage productions in 2009. In August I saw "Louis and Keely Live at the Sahara". What a fab show that was. The next best thing to seeing the real show had I been alive in the 50s. In December I saw "Baby It's You", another fab show and I ended the year (December 30th) seeing "A Vegas Holiday! Songs from Live at the Sahara". This was the Louis and Keely live show from August sans the drama.

So, goodbye 2009. It was a very good year!

Facebook in Heaven

I love a good mystery, especially if it is of a “supernatural” nature. Why wouldn’t I? I was the kid that grew up having tarot cards, Ouija board and watching scary movies (back in the day before “slasher” movies). Imagine my excitement one day when a friend came in looking like she’d just seen a ghost, her hand clutching at her chest feeling like she was going to pass out.

My friend Marilyn (not her real name) lost her husband in November of 2008. She joined Facebook (FB) in December of 2008. Flash forward about 10 months. To say the least, she was freaking out! She had just returned from a business trip and decided to check her personal email which she hadn’t been able to do for a few days. She had an email from FB that her deceased husband, Jack (not his real name) had accepted her friend request. What? How could this be? She did confess that when she did join, she searched for Jack, but his name is common and there were many. Besides, why would she send him a friend request?

Since her deceased husband had accepted her apparent friend request, Marilyn was able to view his FB wall. Things there were logical. She was his only friend and the only other thing on his wall was that he’d joined a FB kidney dialysis support group. The avatar used as his profile picture was one she said suited his personality and that he would have picked. The email address in his profile information was one of his actual email addresses. This particular email address was a freebie he got with a newspaper subscription. She did mention that she thought the email address shouldn’t be good any longer as she never renewed the subscription. The other thing - his birthday was correct.

Our mutual friend, Joan (not her real name) decided to send a friend request to Jack. She also sent him a message via FB. These messages are sent to an email address. Within a few minutes, the email came back as undeliverable. That made sense because Marilyn had not renewed the newspaper subscription. It was either later that day or early the next, that Joan got a message from FB that Jack had accepted her friend request. She then wrote on his FB wall, but never got a comment back.

We discussed the possibilities of what the heck was going on. It seemed interesting to me that Marilyn got the original notice from FB after returning from her trip. She said she was finally beginning to feel at peace over her loss and could finally be at certain places that reminded her of their time together, without crying. Could it then be that with her new found sense of peace, Jack really tried to make contact with her, however brief? Was it possible that someone had not only hacked Jack’s FB account, but Marilyn’s as well, to play a cruel joke? I guess it’s possible, yet I somehow find that hard to imagine. Joan did write a little about this on her own FB wall and had a few friends send her messages that they have heard of this happening. One friend even said he’s heard of a medium that has been very busy with clients having similar experiences.

A few weeks ago, Marilyn was at home on a Sunday evening checking FB. She got a chat message from “Jack”. The message said, “How you doing?” When he was alive, he would call her at night when she was on business trips and when she’d answer her phone he would always say, “How you doing?” She did reply, but the exchange stopped there.

I just love the idea of deceased loved ones trying to contact us through vehicles such as FB (remember, me with tarot cards and Ouija boards) and really don’t want to consider the possibility of this being criminal behavior. I would love to hear your thoughts about this. Has anyone out there heard of or experienced anything like this?